Dr. Becky Kennedy: Stress Free Parenting

“Confidence is self-trust, it is very different from feeling good about yourself.”

— Becky Kennedy

Medium: Podcast

How strongly I recommend it: 9/10

Other Recommendations: Here

10 Takeaways

1. Kids blame others when overwhelmed by shame, unable to separate behaviour from identity.

2. Separating 'who they are' from 'what they do' enables kids to take responsibility and learn.

3. When kids share something hard, say: "I'm glad you're telling me," "I believe you," and "Tell me more." These lines build emotional connection and help kids regulate feelings and build confidence.

4. Use parental controls or timers to enforce limits rather than expecting teens to self-regulate.

5. Practice the AVP technique: Acknowledge, Validate, and Permit your emotions.

   1. Acknowledge feelings using feeling words or general statements.

   2. Validate emotions by saying "that makes sense" to accept them logically.

   3. Permit emotions to exist within your body without exploding, avoiding suppression.

6. A boundary is something you tell someone what you will do and requires no action from others. This empowers you because success of a boundary depends solely on your behavior, not others'.

7. Confidence is self-trust rather than simply feeling good about oneself. Confidence means trusting yourself, especially when you are not the best at something. Having self-trust helps one feel okay with not always excelling.

8. Parents should focus on building self-trust in their children to foster true confidence.

9. Approach conflict with mindset of "me and you against the problem," not "me versus you."- it communication tone, fostering curiosity, connection, and solutions.

10. Validating kids’ feelings builds resilience by teaching that all emotions are acceptable parts of themselves.